What is Love?

What is love
Oh baby, don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no more
Oh, babydon't hurt me
Don't hurt me no more

What is love

Yeah

 

Oh, I don't know why you're not there
I give you my love, but you don't care
So what is right and what is wrong
Gimme a sign

 

What is love
Oh baby, don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no more
What is love
Oh baby, don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no more

source: http://www.lyricsondemand.com/
(Are you head bobbing? Cause I totally was! :) Don't judge!)
 

What is love? It's one of those deep, emotional, and intrinsic need kind of questions that everyone asks themself at some point. I thought I knew what love was until I became a mom. I thought I completely understood the whole unconditional love thing, but I really had no clue until Ryder came into my life. Well, that and being exposed to a very conditional love from others in my life.

 

So let's start with this, 1 Corintians 13, also referred to as "the love chapter" in the Bible says,

 

"If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. ² If I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. ³ And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I surrender my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing.

 

⁴ Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, ⁵ does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, ⁶ does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; ⁷ bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

⁸ Love never fails; but if there are gifts of  prophecy, they will be done away; if there are tongues, they will cease; if there is knowledge, it will be done away. ⁹ For we know in part and we prophesy in part; ¹⁰ but when the perfect comes, the partial will be done away. ¹¹ When I was a child, I used to speak like a child, think like a child, reason like a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things. ¹² For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part, but then I will know fully just as I also have been fully known. ¹³ But now faith, hope, love, abide these three; but the greatest of these is love.

 

Recently, I noticed somthing very interesting (at least to me) in verses 2 and 3 of this passage, they both say, "but if I do not have love," and then end with these two statements, "I am nothing" and "it profits me nothing" or in the New Living Translation, "I have nothing." So basically, if I don't have love in all that I do, I am nothing, and I have gained nothing! It also speaks to the idea that love isn't about you, it's about the other person. It's patient, it waits on the timetable of another. It's not arrogant or boastful or jealous, love puts the other person first and doesn't try to one up them or be better than them. Love also doesn't get angry easily or keep a record of wrongs, because it looks for the best in the other person and places that above all their faults. It doesn't seek it's own way in things and then grumble or complain when they don't get their way. Love is inerrantly selfless.

 

Love, unconditional love, is an absolute must in building relationships with people. But it's that part about being unconditional that I never really dwelt on. I love people, I genuinely enjoy other people's company, and I usually try to give people the benefit of the doubt or find the best in anyone, but I never thought about what it means to love unconditionally.  That kind of love is totally selfless and sacrificing for the good of another without any thought to your own benefit or comfort. In many ways that defines motherhood for me. I have given up many a sleepless night for Ryder, I gave up my body for 9 months while pregnant and was sick often, not to mention the 8 months I nursed him, and I quit my job to stay home and raise him, which has greatly diminished the amount of extra cash flow in our home at this time. However, I don't say any of that with a mindset of, "Look what I did for you? Aren't I so great? Shouldn't you love me more or do something for me in return?" I don't feel that way at all. I did what I did because I love my son, and I want the best for him, even if it means giving up things for myself or changing my way of life, and I don't consider any of them sacrifices. I consider it a priviledge and an honor and above all a blessing to be Ryder's mommy, and I will gladly do that at any cost because I love him unconditionally. I love him the way my parents love me and my sister. I learned to love Ryder by the way God loved us: I John 4: 9-11 says,

⁹ God showed how much he loved us by sending his one and only Son into the world so that we might have eternal life through him. ¹⁰ This is real love—not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins.

 ¹¹ Dear friends, since God loved us that much, we surely ought to love each other.

 

I couldn't have said it better myself, God loved us so much that He was willing to die for us, what are we willing to do for the ones we love?

Is our love for them conditional? Do we have expectations of gain from showing them love or do we simply love them for who they are and how precious they are in God's sight?

 

I wish I could say that everyone in my family knew how to love this way, but unfortunately, we're not perfect and there are many in our family who love on a conditional basis of "What's in it for me?" My hope and prayer is that I will never be accused of this kind of love, and that my children will grow up only knowing an unconditional love from Tyler and I and our Heavenly Father, and hopefully we can break the trend of selfish love that is so prevalent in our world today. Because what is love other than sacrifice and servanthood?