However, I do have a problem with the tone of some of the posts I've seen of people who have chosen not to do Santa. One said they applauded a particular celebrity for not wanting to lie to his children with the idea of Santa as his parents had done to him. Another talked about how they loved their child whether they were naughty or nice and therefore would not use Santa as a deterrent for behavior and would not be doing Santa for that reason. I guess the issue I take with it is the undertone of criticism. I ask the parent that says they won't lie to their child and tell them Santa is real, will you also tell them that Elmo is in fact a puppet made of fur and cloth that is essectially dead? I mean, come on, we can play pretend and make believe, and it doesn't mean we're lying, we're just playing a game, and just like games, we play along for as long as our kids want to play. My parents allowed me to believe in Santa for as long as I was willing, and I wanted to believe for a long time even though it seemed unreasonable because it was fun and magical! When I asked my mom if Santa was real, her reply was always, "It's all in what you believe," so if I wanted to believe he was real then he was. Fortunately, I had a much younger sister and got to "believe" in Santa until I was 20 years old. When my 7 year old sister became determined to figure out if he was real or not, I was a little upset with her for taking away Santa after all those years, and I even tried to convince her to keep playing along and not let mom and dad know that she knew. Of course, I knew how it worked, but it was fun! In my mind, it wasn't a lie, it was a fun game of "make believe" that I got to play along with my parents! And I can't wait to play the game again with my own children, who I hope won't read this until they're grown with children of their own, so that we can experience the magic for as long as possible.
As for the other issue another friend raised about teaching conditional love. I don't necessarily think that's the message that Santa is trying to convey. I do see her point, however, in that parents take the whole, "Santa won't bring gifts to bad girls and boys," deterent too far. But again, in my experience, the emphasis was not in the correlation between behavior and the amount of gifts I got, it was more about the fun and excitement of Santa's secrecy and surprise in what he brought, how he got it there, and when he came. I loved it!! I do see lots of people using the Elf on the Shelf toy, and I suppose that that item can also be taken to an extreme in focusing on behavior, but I think if parents can keep balance and emphasize the secrecy and surprise of finding your elf each day and the mischief they get into, then it becomes more about fun than discipline. Again, I see the point my friend was making, and I know that in some homes Santa as a discipline tool is way out of hand, and is also reinforcing the idea of conditional love, but I think that as parents we can adjust the emphasis to what works for us and our children, and possibly even teach them about unconditional love through the giving heart of Santa to any and all children and his desire to see that everyone recieves a gift, and that all children will obey and honor their parents and do what is right. To me, that is an excellent picture of Christ that might be a bit more attainable for small children and fun to experience and see lived out, but again it's all in the emphasis that parents choose.
Finally, I've also heard a lot of people say that Santa takes away from the true meaning of Christmas. Again, this can be true if Santa is all you talk about or exceeds the miraculous birth of Christ. But I don't think it has to take away from Christmas. I never felt that Santa took away from the message of Christ, I think we could've done more to intentionally focus on Christ at Christmas, but it doesn't mean that because I believe in Santa that I didn't believe in or care about Christ. It was actually quite the contrary, as a child I remember driving home from my grandmother's house Christmas Eve night and staring up at the sky searching not for Santa's sleigh, but for the Christmas Star that announced Christ's birth and led the wise men to His home. I was caught up in that part of the story more!
I don't think Santa has to overshadow Christ at Christmas, but I do think that Christ should overshadow Santa. I think there's room enough for both, and I think families can find traditions that incorporate both. But I won't judge anyone for not doing the Santa thing. However, if your child is the one that sends my child home crying because they've decided to tell my child that Santa doesn't exist, well then we might have a problem! But honestly, I don't think it makes you better or worse to include or exclude Santa in your Christmas, and I hope you can feel the same towards me. There are far more important issues to deal with in the world, and honestly, if you're judging me over Santa, then we have far bigger issues to be dealing with, like pride maybe? :)
And in case you're wondering, yes, we will be doing the Santa thing for as long as my kids will let me, because boy, have I missed him these last 8 years! :)
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