So I shared in my last post (http://thehardenhousehold.blogspot.com/2013/03/im-blessed.html) how blessed we are with the friends God has given us, but my blessings go beyond just that. I'm not sure why, but I have been overwhelmed in the past few months with just how good God has been to me!
My greatest gift at this time is my beautiful son and the ability to stay home with him, but back in August as everyone was preparing to go back to school, I began to feel a little sad and wistful. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love staying home with my son and the role that I now have, but I also loved teaching! Not every moment, of course, but I truly enjoyed my days being filled with planning and preparing, teaching students, seeing them learn new concepts, laughing at the crazy things they said & did that all teenagers say & do, listening when they needed to vent, offering advice when I could, and spending time with them so that I could still feel young too! I loved it! I loved planning prom, putting together a beauty pageant for boys who dressed like girls (yes, yes, I did plan that event! It made us a fortune for prom and was simply tradition at GHS!), going to football games, and just laughing at the ridiculous stories from my colleagues every day! But I wasn't fulfilled despite all the joy I found in teaching. Deep down I wanted something else, but God was telling me to wait, so in the mean time I threw myself into what I was doing to avoid the ache in my heart. Then one day, God decided to grant me my deepest desire, and He made me a mom!
My life has changed so drastically, but when the back-to-school season rolled around, I admit I was a little sad at the thought of not going back to school like I had for the past 26 years, and I worried about how I would fill my days now. How silly of me?!?! God has always had a wonderful plan for my life, and I've clung to that verse in Jeremiah that says so, but I'm not sure I really got it until this year.
In the midst of my worrying what I would ever do to fill my days, God began to fill them for me! (And let's be honest, that's the way it should be, but I haven't always let Him.) He opened doors I never even imagined doing! I now keep an adorable little girl very close in age to Ryder, a couple of days a week. I don't talk about it much out of privacy for her, but it has been a great ooportunity for Ryder to learn to share and play with another child, and it's provided a little extra income for our family. I'm so grateful for the opportunity to serve, but God didn't stop there!
He also gave me an opportunity to get involved in an incredible ministry through my church. I was asked to join the steering committee of our newly started MOPS group as the Publicity Leader. At first, I was a little unsure about the role, but God knew this was the perfect position for me! I still get to use my English background as I prepare a monthly newsletter, but I've gotten to stretch some other areas as I began selling and designing ads for the newsletter, and I swore I could never do anything involving sales because that's justnot my personality, but again, God knew better (of course!). I also got to tap into my creative side by including recipes and craft ideas each month. I never really had time for things like cooking or crafting when I taught, but I always enjoyed those things, so now I really get to try my hand at some new things! It's been so much fun getting to be part of this group and meet so many new women and see families come visit our church because of their experience at MOPS! Not only do I work on a newsletter, but I also get to help plan meetings, play dates, and lots of other fun events, and I get to use that detailed/OCD background in the planning and organizing! God truly knew exactly where I needed to be.
As I look at what my days are filled with now, I know that this is what I was meant to do all along, I just had to wait for God's perfect timing. I loved teaching (most days), but I had no idea how much I would love what I'm doing now! I hoped, I dreamed, but never in my wildest dreams did I expect this! God truly does give us exceedingly above, all we could ask or think, I'm just sorry it took me his long to know what that really meant! And I'm sorry that I'm not continuously grateful and appreciative of what He's done!
Yep, I'm blessed, and I'm incredibly grateful, humbled, awestruck, and somewhat intimidated by the awesomeness and goodness of our mighty, wonderful, everlasting, loving, and great GOD!! :)
Ahhhh, so many blessings, so many great things, and He decided I was worth it to share them with me!
Thursday, March 28, 2013
Tuesday, March 26, 2013
I'm Blessed
The past few weeks, God has been reminding me of how truly blessed I am, and how He answered a prayer of mine from as far back as high school. All through high school, college, and even our first year of marriage, I had an ongoing prayer request before the Lord. The request might seem silly to most people, but it was a deep felt need in my heart and life. The request was for the Lord to help me find true friends.
I won't get into details, but I had a rough time in high school, partly because of my own insecurities, and partly because of the people I was surrounded by at the time. But either way, I was desperate for friendship, a true friendship, and spent a lot of time feeling very lonely. When I got to college, I was overwhelmed by the sheer number of people surrounding me, and felt a little lost in the numbers at times. I did begin to forge sweet friendships, and even met my best friend for life, my husband, there. But even then, I was still lacking that connection with other people, where I felt accepted and wanted.
After Tyler and I got married, as much as we loved our time alone together, we began to realize our need for friendship with other couples, if only to help us see that we weren't the only couple in the world who argued over what to watch on television! I began to pray once again that God would help us to find friends, real friends.
Fourteen years after my original prayer for friendship, and six years after praying for God to lead us to Godly couples that we could become friends with, I look at my life, and realize that I would be deeply remiss if I didn't thank the Lord publicly for answering my prayer, abundantly, above, all I could ask or think!
Tyler and I are now surrounded with wonderful friends, more than I can even count! We have friends from church that we share the joys and trials of parenting with, that we share our needs and prayer requests with, and people that we just get to laugh & enjoy life with! It's such a beautiful picture to me, to look around and see how surrounded we are by so many special people who have had impacted our lives in big and small ways! God has been so good to us, and I am so thankful!
Beyond our amazing friends from church, we have also made other friends through our jobs and brought friends with us from our high school and college years that have grown into deeper, more meaningful relationships over th years. I thank the Lord for each and every friend He has given us, and I am overwhelmed by the way God answered that prayer of a lonely teenage girl, who thought she wasn't good enough to be able to make friends. I know that God led me through a time of waiting for friendship, in order for me to draw closer to Him first, and He truly is all that I need, but life here on earth sure is sweeter with friends to do life with too!! :)
Friendship is such a precious thing and such a good gift from my Lord!
I won't get into details, but I had a rough time in high school, partly because of my own insecurities, and partly because of the people I was surrounded by at the time. But either way, I was desperate for friendship, a true friendship, and spent a lot of time feeling very lonely. When I got to college, I was overwhelmed by the sheer number of people surrounding me, and felt a little lost in the numbers at times. I did begin to forge sweet friendships, and even met my best friend for life, my husband, there. But even then, I was still lacking that connection with other people, where I felt accepted and wanted.
After Tyler and I got married, as much as we loved our time alone together, we began to realize our need for friendship with other couples, if only to help us see that we weren't the only couple in the world who argued over what to watch on television! I began to pray once again that God would help us to find friends, real friends.
Fourteen years after my original prayer for friendship, and six years after praying for God to lead us to Godly couples that we could become friends with, I look at my life, and realize that I would be deeply remiss if I didn't thank the Lord publicly for answering my prayer, abundantly, above, all I could ask or think!
Tyler and I are now surrounded with wonderful friends, more than I can even count! We have friends from church that we share the joys and trials of parenting with, that we share our needs and prayer requests with, and people that we just get to laugh & enjoy life with! It's such a beautiful picture to me, to look around and see how surrounded we are by so many special people who have had impacted our lives in big and small ways! God has been so good to us, and I am so thankful!
Beyond our amazing friends from church, we have also made other friends through our jobs and brought friends with us from our high school and college years that have grown into deeper, more meaningful relationships over th years. I thank the Lord for each and every friend He has given us, and I am overwhelmed by the way God answered that prayer of a lonely teenage girl, who thought she wasn't good enough to be able to make friends. I know that God led me through a time of waiting for friendship, in order for me to draw closer to Him first, and He truly is all that I need, but life here on earth sure is sweeter with friends to do life with too!! :)
Friendship is such a precious thing and such a good gift from my Lord!
Tiny Dancer
Our little man loves to dance! And I love to watch him! It brings a smile to my face every time! I'm not sure where he got his moves from, but I assure you, it wasn't me! :)
Love this boy so much!!
Wednesday, March 6, 2013
Ouch!
Recently, I've read a few articles that have mentioned my Alma Mater, Liberty University, some giving praise to the school and others harshly criticizing it, but what stung the most were the comments made by people at the end of the articles. I knew people didn't like the school, but to read the attacks made on the students and graduates was kind of upsetting for me.
There were comments made that said no one should ever employ a graduate from Liberty because their education was sub-par and narrow-minded given the evangelical nature of their education. It stung for people to basically make a claim about me and my ability to participate in society because of where I attended school without knowing me or seeing my abilities. It made me feel like I wasn't good enough, that I didn't measure up. And then I was a little angry, because these people made statements about me being ignorant out of their own ignorance, and they accused me of being narrow-minded because my belief system doesn't mesh with their belief system. The irony of these comments are not lost on me, but it doesn't ease the sting.
Thankfully, I know who I am, I know Whose I am, I know what I have accomplished despite my so-called "sub-par" education, and I know that I don't have to argue with these people to prove myself to them. Words prove nothing, instead, I hope that my actions and the way I live demonstrate how untrue the comments made by those people really are.
I knew that people felt that way, but I just hadn't really exposed myself to it recently. I heard it often when I was at Liberty, and even when I first started working. I was aware that people didn't think my school was quite on the same level of other schools, and I was even more aware that peole were watching my every move and judging me, but it wasn't until reading those comments that I was reminded how people felt. It reminds me of what Christ warned His disiples of in the last days. He said that His people would be despised and rejected by men. But He also, taught us through Paul, that when we suffered at the hands of those who hated us, we were to count it pure joy. I don't know that it's easy to find joy in people tearing you down, but it does make me want to work harder to prove what Dr. Falwell always said, "If it's Christian, it should be better." I'm willing to be held to the higher standard that society has set, and prove to them that they're wrong, not by arguing or retaliating with name-calling or attacking the other person's charater, but by loving God, staying true to my faith and beliefs no matter the cost, and loving people, even those who hurt me, because that is what Christianity is really about and that is what I was taught every day while I was at Liberty.
There were comments made that said no one should ever employ a graduate from Liberty because their education was sub-par and narrow-minded given the evangelical nature of their education. It stung for people to basically make a claim about me and my ability to participate in society because of where I attended school without knowing me or seeing my abilities. It made me feel like I wasn't good enough, that I didn't measure up. And then I was a little angry, because these people made statements about me being ignorant out of their own ignorance, and they accused me of being narrow-minded because my belief system doesn't mesh with their belief system. The irony of these comments are not lost on me, but it doesn't ease the sting.
Thankfully, I know who I am, I know Whose I am, I know what I have accomplished despite my so-called "sub-par" education, and I know that I don't have to argue with these people to prove myself to them. Words prove nothing, instead, I hope that my actions and the way I live demonstrate how untrue the comments made by those people really are.
I knew that people felt that way, but I just hadn't really exposed myself to it recently. I heard it often when I was at Liberty, and even when I first started working. I was aware that people didn't think my school was quite on the same level of other schools, and I was even more aware that peole were watching my every move and judging me, but it wasn't until reading those comments that I was reminded how people felt. It reminds me of what Christ warned His disiples of in the last days. He said that His people would be despised and rejected by men. But He also, taught us through Paul, that when we suffered at the hands of those who hated us, we were to count it pure joy. I don't know that it's easy to find joy in people tearing you down, but it does make me want to work harder to prove what Dr. Falwell always said, "If it's Christian, it should be better." I'm willing to be held to the higher standard that society has set, and prove to them that they're wrong, not by arguing or retaliating with name-calling or attacking the other person's charater, but by loving God, staying true to my faith and beliefs no matter the cost, and loving people, even those who hurt me, because that is what Christianity is really about and that is what I was taught every day while I was at Liberty.
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
Is God Really Good?
It's the question that prevents many people from ever accepting Christ as their Savior, and it's a difficult question to tackle as Christans; "How can a good God allow something so bad?" I've even heard Christians give in to this thinking saying, "They're a good Christian family, but they're dealing with this awful situation." But the truth is that Christ never promised us a life of ease as Christians, in fact He promised the exact opposite, "In this world you will have trouble, but take heart, for I have overcome the world." He doesn't say we might have trouble or that we won't, He says it's definite that we will face hardships. I've even heard pastors say that if Christians aren't exeriencing trials, they're not living the Christian life because Satan doesn't see them as a threat to his purposes here on earth. But we as Christians believe that God is good because we have accepted on faith the truth of God's Word, but the question is what do you say to those that don't have that assurance?
Some people would say that I have no experience with hardships in my life, so I couldn't possibly understand the horrible things that are out there in the world, and it's true, God has protected me from many horrible things in life, but it doesn't mean that I'm unaware of the challenge of reconciling a fallen world with the goodness of God. In fact, it's been one of the biggest struggles of my Christian life. I have hesitated in sharing this story, because it's not my personal story, and it doesn't have a happy ending yet, but I believe God has taught me so much about His goodness through it that I can't not share it.
I led what many would call a charmed life, and still do. I have two parents who love me and have been married for almost 30 years. I lived in a nice home, went to a Christian school, grew up in church, went to college, married my first and only love, found my dream job, have a beautiful son, etc. I am so incredibly blessed, and I know that it was all because of God's goodness. Don't think that there weren't hardships or trials in my life, but in the big scheme of life, they are tiny in comparison to what others experience, including someone very close to me.
For privacy sake, I won't share this person's name, so I'll call them John. John didn't have two happily married parents as a child, his parents were young, unmarried, and not planning to have a baby. His mom showed him little love and was often abusive and neglectful of John, leaving many physical and emotional scars in a very short part of his life. She eventually decided she was done being a mom and abandoned him while he was no more than a toddler. John's dad wasn't much better, while he wasn't abusive, he was far from attentive. He was more interested in being young and living his own life. John needed a stable home, and a relative offered to take him in to their loving home, but his mom refused them out of spite towards the relatives and her own son. Finally, a solution was found and John was placed in the home of an elderly relative, who tried to give him the best home possible with very little money. He went to church and came to know Christ at a young age, but because of his early childhood and unstable parents who came in and out of his life often, his life was chaotic and tumultuous. School was diffcult, teachers didn't know what to do with him, he didn't sit still or pay attention well, and he was constantly behind in his studies. Unfortunately for John, these were in the days before ADHD diagnoses or special education reform, so after being held back once or twice, teachers gave up and just passed him on through to get him out of their hair until middle school, then life changed even more drastically for John.
At the age of 13, his only real parent figure was diagnosed with cancer, and passed away a few months later. Gone was the only stable home life John had ever known, and even though both of his parents were living, in many ways he was now an orphan. The relatives that had tried to get custody of him from the beginning invited him to come live in their home, and he did for a while, but John was angry, and he was hurting, and his new family didn't know how to help him. They sent him to a new school that tried to work with him, but he began to act out. Eventually, he had dug himself into a hole that no one, including himself, knew how to get him out of. He decided to go live with his dad who was an alcoholic and drug addict. It wasn't long before John joined his dad in drinking and drugs. His life began to spin out of control. He spent some time in jail, he dropped out of school, he couldn't hold a job, he was stealing for drug money, his life was in shambles. Unfortunately, things didn't get better. Over fifteen years later, John's life is still in shambles. He has no family of his own, no home, no formal education beyond 8th grade, not even a drivers' license, much less a car. And in all that time, I've never stopped wondering how a good God could allow John's life to be so incredibly different from mine.
I have spent more time being angry at God and questioning Him over allowing those awful things to happen to John, than anything else I've ever experienced. My heart breaks for John, I want better for him, but I feel helpless. I have spent many years praying for John, praying that God would change his heart, that He woul make him turn his life around, but after all these years I've not seen any changes. I've spent time discussing my doubts with several Christians that I resect and love, and I've come to recognize that while those horrible things did happen, God never abandoned John. In fact, God gave John many opportunities to change his life, but John rejected them. I still don't undestand why God would allow him to have had such an awful childhood, but I have also come to realize that God never leaves us hopeless and that He can bring good from evil, if we're willing. I've also come to realize that my prayer for John needs to change. Instead of praying for a life change, I'm praying for John to know that he is loved, not just by me, but also by God, and that he was never truly abandoned. I can't imagine the hole that must be in his heart after all the things he's exerienced, but I know that God's love is the perfect size to fill that hole and completely wrap around him, and my prayer is that John will accept it and forgive his past.
I do believe with all my heart that God is a good God, and I know this because I know that He never intended for us to experience pain, tears, and sin. His original design was the Garden of Eden, where man walked in fellowship with God on a daily basis, but man rejected His creation, and has continued to reject His original and perfect design. As a result, we live in a fallen world, filled with sin, pain, and death. But there is hope, because while on earth we face those terrible things, this is not the end for us, in the end, God wins! He has already overcome this world, and if we choose to accept Him and His plan for our life, we are guaranteed to see a life without pain or death one day. So even if this life is filled with troubles and hardships, it's only a small fraction in comparison to eternity with Him in paradise.
Some people would say that I have no experience with hardships in my life, so I couldn't possibly understand the horrible things that are out there in the world, and it's true, God has protected me from many horrible things in life, but it doesn't mean that I'm unaware of the challenge of reconciling a fallen world with the goodness of God. In fact, it's been one of the biggest struggles of my Christian life. I have hesitated in sharing this story, because it's not my personal story, and it doesn't have a happy ending yet, but I believe God has taught me so much about His goodness through it that I can't not share it.
I led what many would call a charmed life, and still do. I have two parents who love me and have been married for almost 30 years. I lived in a nice home, went to a Christian school, grew up in church, went to college, married my first and only love, found my dream job, have a beautiful son, etc. I am so incredibly blessed, and I know that it was all because of God's goodness. Don't think that there weren't hardships or trials in my life, but in the big scheme of life, they are tiny in comparison to what others experience, including someone very close to me.
For privacy sake, I won't share this person's name, so I'll call them John. John didn't have two happily married parents as a child, his parents were young, unmarried, and not planning to have a baby. His mom showed him little love and was often abusive and neglectful of John, leaving many physical and emotional scars in a very short part of his life. She eventually decided she was done being a mom and abandoned him while he was no more than a toddler. John's dad wasn't much better, while he wasn't abusive, he was far from attentive. He was more interested in being young and living his own life. John needed a stable home, and a relative offered to take him in to their loving home, but his mom refused them out of spite towards the relatives and her own son. Finally, a solution was found and John was placed in the home of an elderly relative, who tried to give him the best home possible with very little money. He went to church and came to know Christ at a young age, but because of his early childhood and unstable parents who came in and out of his life often, his life was chaotic and tumultuous. School was diffcult, teachers didn't know what to do with him, he didn't sit still or pay attention well, and he was constantly behind in his studies. Unfortunately for John, these were in the days before ADHD diagnoses or special education reform, so after being held back once or twice, teachers gave up and just passed him on through to get him out of their hair until middle school, then life changed even more drastically for John.
At the age of 13, his only real parent figure was diagnosed with cancer, and passed away a few months later. Gone was the only stable home life John had ever known, and even though both of his parents were living, in many ways he was now an orphan. The relatives that had tried to get custody of him from the beginning invited him to come live in their home, and he did for a while, but John was angry, and he was hurting, and his new family didn't know how to help him. They sent him to a new school that tried to work with him, but he began to act out. Eventually, he had dug himself into a hole that no one, including himself, knew how to get him out of. He decided to go live with his dad who was an alcoholic and drug addict. It wasn't long before John joined his dad in drinking and drugs. His life began to spin out of control. He spent some time in jail, he dropped out of school, he couldn't hold a job, he was stealing for drug money, his life was in shambles. Unfortunately, things didn't get better. Over fifteen years later, John's life is still in shambles. He has no family of his own, no home, no formal education beyond 8th grade, not even a drivers' license, much less a car. And in all that time, I've never stopped wondering how a good God could allow John's life to be so incredibly different from mine.
I have spent more time being angry at God and questioning Him over allowing those awful things to happen to John, than anything else I've ever experienced. My heart breaks for John, I want better for him, but I feel helpless. I have spent many years praying for John, praying that God would change his heart, that He woul make him turn his life around, but after all these years I've not seen any changes. I've spent time discussing my doubts with several Christians that I resect and love, and I've come to recognize that while those horrible things did happen, God never abandoned John. In fact, God gave John many opportunities to change his life, but John rejected them. I still don't undestand why God would allow him to have had such an awful childhood, but I have also come to realize that God never leaves us hopeless and that He can bring good from evil, if we're willing. I've also come to realize that my prayer for John needs to change. Instead of praying for a life change, I'm praying for John to know that he is loved, not just by me, but also by God, and that he was never truly abandoned. I can't imagine the hole that must be in his heart after all the things he's exerienced, but I know that God's love is the perfect size to fill that hole and completely wrap around him, and my prayer is that John will accept it and forgive his past.
I do believe with all my heart that God is a good God, and I know this because I know that He never intended for us to experience pain, tears, and sin. His original design was the Garden of Eden, where man walked in fellowship with God on a daily basis, but man rejected His creation, and has continued to reject His original and perfect design. As a result, we live in a fallen world, filled with sin, pain, and death. But there is hope, because while on earth we face those terrible things, this is not the end for us, in the end, God wins! He has already overcome this world, and if we choose to accept Him and His plan for our life, we are guaranteed to see a life without pain or death one day. So even if this life is filled with troubles and hardships, it's only a small fraction in comparison to eternity with Him in paradise.
Wednesday, January 9, 2013
The Least of These
This afternoon, I had the opportunity to do something that I've never done before. I had run to Sam's to pick up some milk, I had forgotten to go earlier in the day, so it was close to dinner time, and I knew Tyler would be home soon, but Ryder needed milk so off we went. As I was putting my cart back, I noticed a couple in the parking lot and the guy, who obviously didn't work there since he wasn't wearing the blue vest, was straightening the carts, I thought we might be kindred spirits, since I always do the same thing. Call it OCD, but those carts drive me nuts! The woman walked up to me as I headed back to my car, she looked distraught, and asked if I had any change that I could share. She proceeded to explain that her car was out of gas, and she was stuck there. The guy offered that they had a gas can. I offered to use my Sam's card and they could fill the can with their own money, but she quickly explained that they had no money, no cash or debit cards. Now, I have no idea if their story was true, and I have a tendency to think the worst of people sometimes and usually just apologize and say I can't help, which is exactly what I did. I walked to my car considering their situation more, then I sat in my car and watched as they approached two more couples. One was older and looked somewhat well off. I heard the woman ask the same questions and then say, "If I had more time I would help, but I have to get these pizzas home for dinner." I thought, "Will they be able to eat dinner tonight?" The other couple shook their heads without even speaking and walked away. At this point, I should've been out of the parking lot and well on my way home, but I couldn't move. I kept thinking, "What if it were me or someone I loved that was in this situation? I would want someone to help!"
So I said a quick prayer that God would help me, and I got back out of my car, walked over to them and said I would buy them $15 worth of gas to put in their gas tank. I drove over to the pump and met them there with their red gas can. I put in my Sam's card and then ran my debit card careful to keep my information private. The man took the nozzle and began filling the can. They both began to tell me how they both had jobs but didn't get paid until tomorrow and Friday, and that another family member had used the car earlier today and left them without any gas. I asked if $15 would be enough for what they needed, hoping so since we have little money to spare at this time. He said they were on their way to a town about an hour and a half away to pick up their children, a seven month old and two and a half year old so the $15 should be plenty. They said that after Christmas they just didn't have any moeny left because they wanted their kids to have a nice Christmas. In all honesty, I would probably have been doing the same thing, feeling ashamed for having to ask a total stranger for money, and trying desperately to defend myself. I hated that they felt that way and assured them that I understood that sometimes these things happen, and that I wished I could do more but was happy to help. I fished a card from my purse that had information about our church and our MOPS program, and invited them both to visit sometime. They thanked me and even asked a little about my church. They filled their can, thanked me, promised to pay it forward, and the man said"God bless you," and then they headed on their way. I sat at the pump for a few seconds thinking about what had just happened, wondering if I had done enough, if should've asked their name, if I had made a total error injudgment or not. The gas attendant was walking around trying to see if everything was on the up and up, I appreciated that, so I smiled and headed home.
I have no idea if their story was true, and I'll probably never know, but a passage of scripture kept coming to mind, about going the extra mile for those in need. I also thought about how Christ never questioned anyone's motives when they asked Him for help, He just served others. I don't know if it was a sham, I hope not, I hope I was truly able to help a family in need, but even if it was a sham, the bigger issue was my obedience. I can't answer for the motives of others, but I will have to answer for what I do with what I'm presented. As I drove home, I prayed for that couple, because even more than a financial or physical need, they had a spiritual need, and I hoped that maybe my small action today would plant a seed in leading them to the One who loves them and created them.
“Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the Kingdom prepared for you from the creation of the world. For I was hungry, and you fed me. I was thirsty, and you gave me a drink. I was a stranger, and you invited me into your home. I was naked, and you gave me clothing. I was sick, and you cared for me. I was in prison, and you visited me.’ “Then these righteous ones will reply, ‘Lord, when did we ever see you hungry and feed you? Or thirsty and give you something to drink? Or a stranger and show you hospitality? Or naked and give you clothing? When did we ever see you sick or in prison and visit you?’ “And the King will say, ‘I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!’" Matthew 25:34-40
So I said a quick prayer that God would help me, and I got back out of my car, walked over to them and said I would buy them $15 worth of gas to put in their gas tank. I drove over to the pump and met them there with their red gas can. I put in my Sam's card and then ran my debit card careful to keep my information private. The man took the nozzle and began filling the can. They both began to tell me how they both had jobs but didn't get paid until tomorrow and Friday, and that another family member had used the car earlier today and left them without any gas. I asked if $15 would be enough for what they needed, hoping so since we have little money to spare at this time. He said they were on their way to a town about an hour and a half away to pick up their children, a seven month old and two and a half year old so the $15 should be plenty. They said that after Christmas they just didn't have any moeny left because they wanted their kids to have a nice Christmas. In all honesty, I would probably have been doing the same thing, feeling ashamed for having to ask a total stranger for money, and trying desperately to defend myself. I hated that they felt that way and assured them that I understood that sometimes these things happen, and that I wished I could do more but was happy to help. I fished a card from my purse that had information about our church and our MOPS program, and invited them both to visit sometime. They thanked me and even asked a little about my church. They filled their can, thanked me, promised to pay it forward, and the man said"God bless you," and then they headed on their way. I sat at the pump for a few seconds thinking about what had just happened, wondering if I had done enough, if should've asked their name, if I had made a total error injudgment or not. The gas attendant was walking around trying to see if everything was on the up and up, I appreciated that, so I smiled and headed home.
I have no idea if their story was true, and I'll probably never know, but a passage of scripture kept coming to mind, about going the extra mile for those in need. I also thought about how Christ never questioned anyone's motives when they asked Him for help, He just served others. I don't know if it was a sham, I hope not, I hope I was truly able to help a family in need, but even if it was a sham, the bigger issue was my obedience. I can't answer for the motives of others, but I will have to answer for what I do with what I'm presented. As I drove home, I prayed for that couple, because even more than a financial or physical need, they had a spiritual need, and I hoped that maybe my small action today would plant a seed in leading them to the One who loves them and created them.
“Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the Kingdom prepared for you from the creation of the world. For I was hungry, and you fed me. I was thirsty, and you gave me a drink. I was a stranger, and you invited me into your home. I was naked, and you gave me clothing. I was sick, and you cared for me. I was in prison, and you visited me.’ “Then these righteous ones will reply, ‘Lord, when did we ever see you hungry and feed you? Or thirsty and give you something to drink? Or a stranger and show you hospitality? Or naked and give you clothing? When did we ever see you sick or in prison and visit you?’ “And the King will say, ‘I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!’" Matthew 25:34-40
Thursday, January 3, 2013
So Many Words
I'm afraid I've fallen way behind in updating Ryder's progress. Over the last week it occurred to me that I need to get these memories recorded before it all slips away! I'm continuously amazed at how quickly Ryder is changing, growing, and learning new things. I fear I'll forget what he's like at this stage, and be left with no memories of his childhood. This of course is crazy since we take so many pictures, usually of him zooming past me, and we try to video, although he usually stops doing whatever we wanted to capture the moment the camera comes out! Isn't that just how it goes?? :)
Ryder doesn't talk much at this point, but he understands a lot. I guess I should clarify, Ryder doesn't speak a lot of English yet, but boy can this boy jabber all day long in a language that sounds vaguely like Mandarin Chinese or possibly Zwahili, who knows?! He especially loves to ramble in his unique language when he has a phone pressed to his ear. He'll wonder around the house with one hand clutching the phone to his ear, his head bent to lock it in place with the other hand behind his back as he rapidly spills every unintelligible word he has. I enjoy watching this so much that I sometimes break my own rule and allow him to have my cell phone to let him babble! He does know a few English words, however. "Waffle" is his most recent, and he only says it first thing in the morning shortly after getting up and coming downstairs. He'll run to the kitchen, point to the freezer, grunt, point to the toaster oven, grunt again, and when I take the prize out of the freezer, he exclaims, "Waffle!" over and over again until it has finished cooking in the toaster over, and then replies with "Taintoo," another of his words, when I hand him his waffle. If you can't decode baby talk "taintoo" is Ryder's version of "thank you." It's not quite perfect, and unless you are listening for it, it's sometimes hard to catch him saying it, but we're working on it! Along with "please" but that one seems to be still a ways off in accomplishing. Ryder also says, "mama," which makes Tyler a little jealous, however, I have explained to Tyler that he need not be jealous since Ryder pretty much calls all people that he likes and wants their attention "mama" including Tyler, myself, his aunt Caitlyn, etc. We're working on "dada" if for no other reason than to keep from Tyler getting a complex over being called "mama." :) Ryder also says "woof, woof" when referring to a dog, mainly Boston, or when he hears one bark, and many times if he hears a dog barking he will persist in saying"woof woof" until someone acknowledges him and the barking dog! He says "nana" for banana, but his favorite word by far and away is "ball ball!" This boy loves his "ball balls" and insists that every spherical shaped object is a ball that he needs to hold including tomatoes or peaches at the grocery store, pictures of the sun or globe in books, and any toy that is remotely spherical in shape including a plastic lemon from his kitchen set. We've decided this boy will most definitely be a ball player, or we'll be very surprised!! :)
But as I said before, although his word count is still in the single digits, this child understands an unbelievable amount of what we say! He knows what I mean when I say bathtime, bedtime, storytime, time to eat or let's make lunch/dinner. He knows that when I say you need your diaper changed that we need a diaper, wipes, and he will lay down in the floor to be changed. If I ask him if he wants to read a book, he'll walk to the shelf, select a few books, and come back to sit on my lap to read. He knows that if I say we're going "bye-bye" he needs to get his shoes on and will go to the basket to get them and then go to the step to sit down for me to put them on. I'm continuously amazed at how well he understands routine and can pretty much act it out on cue. There are times that he doesn't like what I ask him to do espeially if the word "no" is used, and he occassionally throws a tantrum because he wants his way and not mine, but overall he's an agreeable child. He may not know many words, but he can certainly communicate by pointing, taking our hand and showing us what he wants, and if all else fails climbing in our lap and giving us a hug to get our fullest attention.
I love our sweet, silly boy! :)
Friday, December 21, 2012
Creature Comforts
Let me start this post by first saying that I live in the city. Not like sort of in the city, but really in a nice suburb, no, I live in the city, less than a mile from the airport, the major mall & shopping center, and only a few miles from downtown. So I live smack-dab in the city, but after the events of the past couple of years, you would think I lived out in the country somewhere.
I have never had so many interactions with wildlife in my lifetime, and this is mostly thanks to our wonderful dog, Boston!
One evening we let Boston outside, and he immediately began barking furiously. He wouldn't let up, and we knew something was wrong. Tyler went out to investigate and try and convince Boston to come in when he discovered that Boston had cornered an oppossum at the back of our yard, and unlike all the stories you hear, he was not playing dead, he was reared back, fangs showing, and hissing loudly. Thankfully, we eventually got Boston inside and no one was hurt! But that wasn't the last of the oppossum interactions.
A few months ago, I had just gotten one baby down for a nap, and had another to go when Boston began his ferocious barking again. With a baby on my hip, and no shoes on my feet, I walked out back to find that Boston had once again managed to tree an oppossum. This one, however, seemed completely bored with our dog, but I was concerned in seeing a nocturnal animal out in broad daylight. So there I was trying to wrangle my 85 pound black lab and shoo away a possibly rabid oppossum with a tree branch in hand, all while barefoot with a baby on my hip. I can't even imagine what the neighbors must've been thinking, but I'm thankful they don't have video cameras or know what YouTube is!!
But that's not even the funniest creature interaction I've had. One fateful night, while Tyler was working upstairs on Ryder's nursery, I went to the backdoor to let Boston in, and had gone to sit back on the couch to rest my swollen ankles and sore back from the extra baby weight. I had just sat down when suddenly a black object came swooping around the corner, heading straight for my head! I let out a blood curdling scream that sent Tyler flying down the stairs tumbling and stumbling worried that someone was trying to kill his pregnant wife. It took me a few minutes to calm enough to get the words out, "A Bat. Just. Flew. At. My. Head!! And then it flew up the stairs, and I have no idea where it went after that!" This brought on an hour long search for the bat in our two bedroom upstairs. We let Boston help track the bat, and Tyler's weapon of choice was the broom and bag to catch it in. I heard lots of bangs and clunks and a few panicked yelps, as I sat safely on the couch below while Tyler and Boston went on the hunt in our bedroom with the door closed. Eventually, Tyler and Boston emerged triumphant with the bat in the bag. I can honestly say, I haven't opened the back door at night since then without cautiously looking around for any creatures flying in unexpected!
But if bats and oppossums aren't enough, we also have rabbits. This spring, Tyler discovered a nest of bunnies in our front yard while mowing. Ryder and I spent the next two weeks checking on them and nursing them to health. I admit that I teared up a little the day I discovered they had finally learned to jump out of the nest, and only two were left in our yard. I loved that they stayed close by and that one even made its home under our shed, that is until today...
Today, once again Boston was outside barking, I had just put my babies down for naps, so I looked out the window to see what that crazy dog was making a fuss over this time. I immediately noticed the furriness sticking out from under the shed, and my first thought was, "Oh no, not again! Please don't let it be another oppossum!" But it was too small and when I got closer to the situation, I knew with certainty that it was my baby bunny that was not so much a baby anymore and had frozen to death overnight. I called Tyler to tell him he would need to dispose of it when he got home and headed back inside hoping Boston would let it go. Unfortunately, Boston had other plans in mind and insisted on an immediate burial. He managed to drag the rabbit out from under the shed while I was inside sweeping, but had left it alone since then, I was going to let it wait for Tyler, until a hawk swooped down into our yard out of nowhere trying to snatch up my rabbit. That was the last straw, my baby bunny was not getting eaten by some crazy hawk even if it was already dead! I headed outside in the freezing, windy cold, pulled out two shovels from the shed and carefully worked to scoop up the frozen rabbit, all while squealing, shuddering, and groaning. I finally managed to get the rabbit in a box and was working my way to the trash can trying not to look at the dead creature when I happened to see it's eye wide open, I squealed and groaned again and was about to drop the box in the trashcan when I looked up to see the meter reader staring at me oddly. I sheepishly dropped the box in the trash, and began to quickly walk away as the man called out an awkward, "Merry Christmas," to me. I wanted to turn around and explain, promise him that I found the rabbit that way, and that my dog had nothing to do with its death, but instead I went inside, scrubbed my hands furiously even though I'd not come into any contact with the creature, and texted Tyler to tell him that he owed me big time!!
I love our dog, but his habit of attracting other creatures to our yard is definitely not my cup of tea! And I worry that if he can find this many animals in the city, what on earth would he discover in the country?!?
I have never had so many interactions with wildlife in my lifetime, and this is mostly thanks to our wonderful dog, Boston!
One evening we let Boston outside, and he immediately began barking furiously. He wouldn't let up, and we knew something was wrong. Tyler went out to investigate and try and convince Boston to come in when he discovered that Boston had cornered an oppossum at the back of our yard, and unlike all the stories you hear, he was not playing dead, he was reared back, fangs showing, and hissing loudly. Thankfully, we eventually got Boston inside and no one was hurt! But that wasn't the last of the oppossum interactions.
A few months ago, I had just gotten one baby down for a nap, and had another to go when Boston began his ferocious barking again. With a baby on my hip, and no shoes on my feet, I walked out back to find that Boston had once again managed to tree an oppossum. This one, however, seemed completely bored with our dog, but I was concerned in seeing a nocturnal animal out in broad daylight. So there I was trying to wrangle my 85 pound black lab and shoo away a possibly rabid oppossum with a tree branch in hand, all while barefoot with a baby on my hip. I can't even imagine what the neighbors must've been thinking, but I'm thankful they don't have video cameras or know what YouTube is!!
But that's not even the funniest creature interaction I've had. One fateful night, while Tyler was working upstairs on Ryder's nursery, I went to the backdoor to let Boston in, and had gone to sit back on the couch to rest my swollen ankles and sore back from the extra baby weight. I had just sat down when suddenly a black object came swooping around the corner, heading straight for my head! I let out a blood curdling scream that sent Tyler flying down the stairs tumbling and stumbling worried that someone was trying to kill his pregnant wife. It took me a few minutes to calm enough to get the words out, "A Bat. Just. Flew. At. My. Head!! And then it flew up the stairs, and I have no idea where it went after that!" This brought on an hour long search for the bat in our two bedroom upstairs. We let Boston help track the bat, and Tyler's weapon of choice was the broom and bag to catch it in. I heard lots of bangs and clunks and a few panicked yelps, as I sat safely on the couch below while Tyler and Boston went on the hunt in our bedroom with the door closed. Eventually, Tyler and Boston emerged triumphant with the bat in the bag. I can honestly say, I haven't opened the back door at night since then without cautiously looking around for any creatures flying in unexpected!
But if bats and oppossums aren't enough, we also have rabbits. This spring, Tyler discovered a nest of bunnies in our front yard while mowing. Ryder and I spent the next two weeks checking on them and nursing them to health. I admit that I teared up a little the day I discovered they had finally learned to jump out of the nest, and only two were left in our yard. I loved that they stayed close by and that one even made its home under our shed, that is until today...
Today, once again Boston was outside barking, I had just put my babies down for naps, so I looked out the window to see what that crazy dog was making a fuss over this time. I immediately noticed the furriness sticking out from under the shed, and my first thought was, "Oh no, not again! Please don't let it be another oppossum!" But it was too small and when I got closer to the situation, I knew with certainty that it was my baby bunny that was not so much a baby anymore and had frozen to death overnight. I called Tyler to tell him he would need to dispose of it when he got home and headed back inside hoping Boston would let it go. Unfortunately, Boston had other plans in mind and insisted on an immediate burial. He managed to drag the rabbit out from under the shed while I was inside sweeping, but had left it alone since then, I was going to let it wait for Tyler, until a hawk swooped down into our yard out of nowhere trying to snatch up my rabbit. That was the last straw, my baby bunny was not getting eaten by some crazy hawk even if it was already dead! I headed outside in the freezing, windy cold, pulled out two shovels from the shed and carefully worked to scoop up the frozen rabbit, all while squealing, shuddering, and groaning. I finally managed to get the rabbit in a box and was working my way to the trash can trying not to look at the dead creature when I happened to see it's eye wide open, I squealed and groaned again and was about to drop the box in the trashcan when I looked up to see the meter reader staring at me oddly. I sheepishly dropped the box in the trash, and began to quickly walk away as the man called out an awkward, "Merry Christmas," to me. I wanted to turn around and explain, promise him that I found the rabbit that way, and that my dog had nothing to do with its death, but instead I went inside, scrubbed my hands furiously even though I'd not come into any contact with the creature, and texted Tyler to tell him that he owed me big time!!
I love our dog, but his habit of attracting other creatures to our yard is definitely not my cup of tea! And I worry that if he can find this many animals in the city, what on earth would he discover in the country?!?
Wednesday, December 19, 2012
The Santa Debate
Lately, I've seen quite a few Facebook posts from friends who have decided not to do Santa with their kids. Honestly, I see nothing wrong with Santa, and loved growing up with the tradition, but I'm not at all bothered by others' decisions not to do the whole Santa thing.
I ask the parent that says they won't lie to their child and tell them Santa is real, will you also tell them that Elmo is in fact a puppet made of fur and cloth that is essectially dead? I mean, come on, we can play pretend and make believe, and it doesn't mean we're lying, we're just playing a game, and just like games, we play along for as long as our kids want to play. My parents allowed me to believe in Santa for as long as I was willing, and I wanted to believe for a long time even though it seemed unreasonable because it was fun and magical! When I asked my mom if Santa was real, her reply was always, "It's all in what you believe," so if I wanted to believe he was real then he was. Fortunately, I had a much younger sister and got to "believe" in Santa until I was 20 years old. When my 7 year old sister became determined to figure out if he was real or not, I was a little upset with her for taking away Santa after all those years, and I even tried to convince her to keep playing along and not let mom and dad know that she knew. Of course, I knew how it worked, but it was fun! In my mind, it wasn't a lie, it was a fun game of "make believe" that I got to play along with my parents! And I can't wait to play the game again with my own children, who I hope won't read this until they're grown with children of their own, so that we can experience the magic for as long as possible.
As for the other issue another friend raised about teaching conditional love. I don't necessarily think that's the message that Santa is trying to convey. I do see her point, however, in that parents take the whole, "Santa won't bring gifts to bad girls and boys," deterent too far. But again, in my experience, the emphasis was not in the correlation between behavior and the amount of gifts I got, it was more about the fun and excitement of Santa's secrecy and surprise in what he brought, how he got it there, and when he came. I loved it!! I do see lots of people using the Elf on the Shelf toy, and I suppose that that item can also be taken to an extreme in focusing on behavior, but I think if parents can keep balance and emphasize the secrecy and surprise of finding your elf each day and the mischief they get into, then it becomes more about fun than discipline. Again, I see the point my friend was making, and I know that in some homes Santa as a discipline tool is way out of hand, and is also reinforcing the idea of conditional love, but I think that as parents we can adjust the emphasis to what works for us and our children, and possibly even teach them about unconditional love through the giving heart of Santa to any and all children and his desire to see that everyone recieves a gift, and that all children will obey and honor their parents and do what is right. To me, that is an excellent picture of Christ that might be a bit more attainable for small children and fun to experience and see lived out, but again it's all in the emphasis that parents choose.
Finally, I've also heard a lot of people say that Santa takes away from the true meaning of Christmas. Again, this can be true if Santa is all you talk about or exceeds the miraculous birth of Christ. But I don't think it has to take away from Christmas. I never felt that Santa took away from the message of Christ, I think we could've done more to intentionally focus on Christ at Christmas, but it doesn't mean that because I believe in Santa that I didn't believe in or care about Christ. It was actually quite the contrary, as a child I remember driving home from my grandmother's house Christmas Eve night and staring up at the sky searching not for Santa's sleigh, but for the Christmas Star that announced Christ's birth and led the wise men to His home. I was caught up in that part of the story more!
I don't think Santa has to overshadow Christ at Christmas, but I do think that Christ should overshadow Santa. I think there's room enough for both, and I think families can find traditions that incorporate both. But I won't judge anyone for not doing the Santa thing. However, if your child is the one that sends my child home crying because they've decided to tell my child that Santa doesn't exist, well then we might have a problem! But honestly, I don't think it makes you better or worse to include or exclude Santa in your Christmas, and I hope you can feel the same towards me. There are far more important issues to deal with in the world, and honestly, if you're judging me over Santa, then we have far bigger issues to be dealing with, like pride maybe? :)
And in case you're wondering, yes, we will be doing the Santa thing for as long as my kids will let me, because boy, have I missed him these last 8 years! :)
However, I do have a problem with the tone of some of the posts I've seen of people who have chosen not to do Santa. One said they applauded a particular celebrity for not wanting to lie to his children with the idea of Santa as his parents had done to him. Another talked about how they loved their child whether they were naughty or nice and therefore would not use Santa as a deterrent for behavior and would not be doing Santa for that reason. I guess the issue I take with it is the undertone of criticism. I ask the parent that says they won't lie to their child and tell them Santa is real, will you also tell them that Elmo is in fact a puppet made of fur and cloth that is essectially dead? I mean, come on, we can play pretend and make believe, and it doesn't mean we're lying, we're just playing a game, and just like games, we play along for as long as our kids want to play. My parents allowed me to believe in Santa for as long as I was willing, and I wanted to believe for a long time even though it seemed unreasonable because it was fun and magical! When I asked my mom if Santa was real, her reply was always, "It's all in what you believe," so if I wanted to believe he was real then he was. Fortunately, I had a much younger sister and got to "believe" in Santa until I was 20 years old. When my 7 year old sister became determined to figure out if he was real or not, I was a little upset with her for taking away Santa after all those years, and I even tried to convince her to keep playing along and not let mom and dad know that she knew. Of course, I knew how it worked, but it was fun! In my mind, it wasn't a lie, it was a fun game of "make believe" that I got to play along with my parents! And I can't wait to play the game again with my own children, who I hope won't read this until they're grown with children of their own, so that we can experience the magic for as long as possible.
As for the other issue another friend raised about teaching conditional love. I don't necessarily think that's the message that Santa is trying to convey. I do see her point, however, in that parents take the whole, "Santa won't bring gifts to bad girls and boys," deterent too far. But again, in my experience, the emphasis was not in the correlation between behavior and the amount of gifts I got, it was more about the fun and excitement of Santa's secrecy and surprise in what he brought, how he got it there, and when he came. I loved it!! I do see lots of people using the Elf on the Shelf toy, and I suppose that that item can also be taken to an extreme in focusing on behavior, but I think if parents can keep balance and emphasize the secrecy and surprise of finding your elf each day and the mischief they get into, then it becomes more about fun than discipline. Again, I see the point my friend was making, and I know that in some homes Santa as a discipline tool is way out of hand, and is also reinforcing the idea of conditional love, but I think that as parents we can adjust the emphasis to what works for us and our children, and possibly even teach them about unconditional love through the giving heart of Santa to any and all children and his desire to see that everyone recieves a gift, and that all children will obey and honor their parents and do what is right. To me, that is an excellent picture of Christ that might be a bit more attainable for small children and fun to experience and see lived out, but again it's all in the emphasis that parents choose.
Finally, I've also heard a lot of people say that Santa takes away from the true meaning of Christmas. Again, this can be true if Santa is all you talk about or exceeds the miraculous birth of Christ. But I don't think it has to take away from Christmas. I never felt that Santa took away from the message of Christ, I think we could've done more to intentionally focus on Christ at Christmas, but it doesn't mean that because I believe in Santa that I didn't believe in or care about Christ. It was actually quite the contrary, as a child I remember driving home from my grandmother's house Christmas Eve night and staring up at the sky searching not for Santa's sleigh, but for the Christmas Star that announced Christ's birth and led the wise men to His home. I was caught up in that part of the story more!
I don't think Santa has to overshadow Christ at Christmas, but I do think that Christ should overshadow Santa. I think there's room enough for both, and I think families can find traditions that incorporate both. But I won't judge anyone for not doing the Santa thing. However, if your child is the one that sends my child home crying because they've decided to tell my child that Santa doesn't exist, well then we might have a problem! But honestly, I don't think it makes you better or worse to include or exclude Santa in your Christmas, and I hope you can feel the same towards me. There are far more important issues to deal with in the world, and honestly, if you're judging me over Santa, then we have far bigger issues to be dealing with, like pride maybe? :)
And in case you're wondering, yes, we will be doing the Santa thing for as long as my kids will let me, because boy, have I missed him these last 8 years! :)
Tuesday, December 18, 2012
Writer's Block
It's been forever since I've written a post. I'm not sure why because I have tons of things to talk about, and lots of ideas. In fact, as I look at my entry list, I see Draft upon Draft, that are posts I began to write on things that were on my mind, but then stopped a few sentences in because the words just weren't flowing quite right, and I didn't have the time to think it through more. I don't know that it's true writer's block that I'm dealing with or maybe just a lack of motivation to sit down and write. I love writing though, and I wish I took more time to do it. Writing is cathartic for me, it's an opportunity for me to get my thoughts organized and figure out how I really feel about certain issues. But sometimes, as is the case now, my mind is so jumbled and there are so many things going on that I fear sitting down to write because I don't know where to start, go to next, or even finish a topic. I usually do well to choose a topic and let the thoughts flow through my fingers, and then I re-read, edit and organize those thoughts and "voila!" I've written something, but I can't even organize my thoughts enough to pick one topic and just stick to it.
I have an idea for a book that I've considered writing one post at a time for. I know the main point of the book, and I even have several sub-topics for chapter divisions, but I haven't made myself sit down to write anything yet. The thoughts are flowing in my mind, and daily I'm reminded of the need for a book on this subject, and yet, I still can't seem to make the time to write. But it's time. I miss writing, I miss putting thoughts down on paper, on speaking about the issues that are near and dear to my heart. Even if I'm the only one who ever reads my posts, I need to write. So I promise to make the time. I will admit that some have come to expect this blog to be a place where I udate regularly on my precious son, and I still will, but my blog is going to become something more than just a family scrapbook. Here you will also find bits and pieces of the book project I'd like to work on, as well as, some more personal journalistic writings of things I have observed and how I feel/react to them.
So here it goes, it's time to put pen to paper, or in this case fingers to keys, and start writing once again!
I'm back.... :)
I have an idea for a book that I've considered writing one post at a time for. I know the main point of the book, and I even have several sub-topics for chapter divisions, but I haven't made myself sit down to write anything yet. The thoughts are flowing in my mind, and daily I'm reminded of the need for a book on this subject, and yet, I still can't seem to make the time to write. But it's time. I miss writing, I miss putting thoughts down on paper, on speaking about the issues that are near and dear to my heart. Even if I'm the only one who ever reads my posts, I need to write. So I promise to make the time. I will admit that some have come to expect this blog to be a place where I udate regularly on my precious son, and I still will, but my blog is going to become something more than just a family scrapbook. Here you will also find bits and pieces of the book project I'd like to work on, as well as, some more personal journalistic writings of things I have observed and how I feel/react to them.
So here it goes, it's time to put pen to paper, or in this case fingers to keys, and start writing once again!
I'm back.... :)
Thursday, September 27, 2012
13 Month Update
Our baby boy is now 13 months old, and I'm not so sure we can call him a baby anymore since he toddles everywhere he goes! It's so fun to watch him walk, he always looks like he might topple over at any moment and yet he moves so fast!! :)
So here's a little of what we've been up to this past month.
We've had to play inside a little more lately due to some rainy weather, but Ryder doesn't mind since he has so many fun new toys to play with like his ball pit and tent!
He also gave up his bottle in exchange for a sippy cup and baby food for grown up food like powdered doughnuts! :)
He's such a happy little guy and has such a fun personality! We think he's pretty awesome, and that he's so smart! When I say, "Let's go to bed," he walks to the steps, climbs up after I open the gate, walks into his room, climbs up in the rocking chair ready for bed! He also goes to the table and sits in his chair while smacking his lips as if he were eating when we ask him if he's ready to eat. He knows that "Go find your toys," means to go to his playroom, and he mimics everything we do like trying to put on his clothes by himself, brush his hair, wear our shoes & his, and brush his teeth.
It's so much fun watching our little guys learn so much! I just can't believe how quickly time is passing and how much he is changing each day! It's hard to believe that a year ago we were at month one of his life!
Friday, September 21, 2012
Do You Trust the GPS?
A few weeks ago, on our way home from Sunday lunch with my parents and sister, Tyler and I saw two older ladies trying to determine which lane they were supposed to be in, we noticed the out of state plates, and knew they were probably lost. They switched to the left turn lane and then turned on their blinker needing back in our lane, so Tyler being the nice guy, let them back over. We were laughing at the maps they were waving at each other, and their animated discussion, and we began to imagine the conversation they were having in the car. Tyler wondered why they didn't just use a GPS, and I told him that they probably had one but didn't trust it, so they weren't using it. As we moved through the intersection, they were once again switching lanes and changing their blinkers, and that's when I saw it...they did have a GPS! It was right there in the driver's side window, and it was on, but apparently they weren't listening to it. I had a feeling they were looking for the highway, which was just a little further down the road, but as we turned into our neighborhood, I watched them taking the exit to the mall instead. I thought how silly, and that if they had only just listened to the GPS and trusted it to go just a little bit further, they would've found exactly what they were looking for. And then, I realized that I do the exact same thing.
God has designed and set out His plans for me, and all I have to do is trust Him, but so often I second-guess His map for my life. I take things into my own hands just like those two women, and I switch lanes, swerving all over the place, creating danger for those around me, and sometimes I even take a wrong exit because I think I know better than Him. When I look back at how many times I didn't trust God's plans for me, I think how silly I must have seemed to God and how frustrated and even disappointed in me, He must have been. I can imagine Him saying, "My daughter, this way, follow Me, I won't let you down, just a little bit further. It may not look like what you expected, but I've got it all under control, just trust Me." I'm so thankful that the Lord's mercy is so unfailing and that He forgives me every time I doubt Him and choose my own way. So while those two ladies seemed so foolish to me, I realized that I'm even more foolish, because while they had a GPS that could still get it wrong if it wasn't updated properly, I have a perfect GPS that will never get it wrong, and yet I still tend to doubt Him.
"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to propser you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11 I'm so glad He has the plans, and all I have to do is trust and follow Him!
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
One of Those Days
Have you ever had one of those days where you just want to crawl back in bed and let the world pass you by, and start fresh tomorrow? I had one of those days today! It all started at 12 a.m. when I was still awake working on a newsletter for our first MOPS meeting next week. I'm not sure why I stayed up so late working on it, I guess I was just anxious to get it done, but it definitely wasn't a good idea since I woke up feeling exhausted, so I was moving quite slowly, which created another problem.
I needed to go downtown today to get fingerprinted for a background check, and Tyler was going to have Ryder visit his office while I ran to the courthouse, but I had to be back by 11:25 for him to leave for an appointment. Unfortunately, my slow-moving self didn't get downtown until 10:55, so I didn't have a lot of time, which would've been fine except that I walked to the wrong building. And that might've been fine too had the man behind the window not yelled at me twice to wait outside, and by outside, I mean literally outdoors for almost 15 minutes while I got to listen to a family yell and use very fowl language as they argued with one another. Turns out the magistrate's office is not part of the courthouse, but rather part of the jail, so you can imagine the folks I got to hang out with while waiting for the angry man behind the two doors and a window to wave me in only to tell me I was in the wrong place. No longer having a babysitter, since Tyler had to leave and not wanting to expose my baby to the clientelle I had the pleasure of meeting, because I didn't want his ears to start bleeding, and being that we were approaching lunch time, we headed to my mom's to help her for a few minutes.
Mom was ever so kind to offer to keep Ryder while I ran back downtown to find the correct door to the courthouse, only I didn't and was sent to three different doors before finally having someone send me to the right door, and I wish I could say they all made up for the first angry man I met, but they were all just as bad as he was. So I was thinking, "Finally, this ordeal is over!" except that when I approached the window and explained what I needed for the fifth time today, the woman said without even looking up, "We stop fingerprinting at 1 o'clock." I was so confused, because it was 12:45 when I parked my car, how could it possibly be after 1 already, and was I going to get a ticket for being parked too long in the 30 minute parking? So I looked up at the clock on the wall, and it read 1:04p.m. SERIOUSLY?!?! I thought this must be some cruel joke, but it wasn't, and she then proceeded to tell me to try going to the county courthouse that was 25 minutes away! UGH! But I really needed it done, so off I went to the county courthouse, and I finally got the fingerprints done, but when I was done, the officer looked at my hands and then towards the bathroom where a tarp was hanging over the entrance and loud banging was coming from inside, and then looked back at me and said, "Ummm, well you can't wash your hands in there, maybe I can find you a rag back in the jail." "Ummm, no thanks! I'll rinse them off in the wate fountain, thanks!" So he kindly brought me a paper towel from the office to dry my hands off, and off I went three hours after I started!
And if that story isn't ridiculous, I can't even relax at home because I learned today that someone lost their 8 foot long pet python four days ago only a few miles from where we live, and it may or may not be pregnant, and the officials have no idea where it could be. Really? My fear of snakes is making me have irrational thoughts of a giant snake hanging from a tree in the backyard or lurking in the bushes by the front door. I keep getting chills and trembling just thinking of it.
What a day! Tomorrow has to be better...I hope!!
P.S. To all those wonderful city officials I met today, please remember that I pay your salary, so try and be a little kinder when I ask you to do your job. I know a lot of the people you meet each day aren't so pleasant to deal with, but that doesn't mean you have to be so unpleasant yourself to everyone you come across, and yes, angry man in the Magistrate's Office you did almost succeed in making me cry, so thanks for brightening my day even more! Also, if anyone needs information on where to find anything at the city jail or courthouse, just ask me, I now know where everything is after my wonderful tour today, but make sure you're there before 1 if you need fingerprints!!
I needed to go downtown today to get fingerprinted for a background check, and Tyler was going to have Ryder visit his office while I ran to the courthouse, but I had to be back by 11:25 for him to leave for an appointment. Unfortunately, my slow-moving self didn't get downtown until 10:55, so I didn't have a lot of time, which would've been fine except that I walked to the wrong building. And that might've been fine too had the man behind the window not yelled at me twice to wait outside, and by outside, I mean literally outdoors for almost 15 minutes while I got to listen to a family yell and use very fowl language as they argued with one another. Turns out the magistrate's office is not part of the courthouse, but rather part of the jail, so you can imagine the folks I got to hang out with while waiting for the angry man behind the two doors and a window to wave me in only to tell me I was in the wrong place. No longer having a babysitter, since Tyler had to leave and not wanting to expose my baby to the clientelle I had the pleasure of meeting, because I didn't want his ears to start bleeding, and being that we were approaching lunch time, we headed to my mom's to help her for a few minutes.
Mom was ever so kind to offer to keep Ryder while I ran back downtown to find the correct door to the courthouse, only I didn't and was sent to three different doors before finally having someone send me to the right door, and I wish I could say they all made up for the first angry man I met, but they were all just as bad as he was. So I was thinking, "Finally, this ordeal is over!" except that when I approached the window and explained what I needed for the fifth time today, the woman said without even looking up, "We stop fingerprinting at 1 o'clock." I was so confused, because it was 12:45 when I parked my car, how could it possibly be after 1 already, and was I going to get a ticket for being parked too long in the 30 minute parking? So I looked up at the clock on the wall, and it read 1:04p.m. SERIOUSLY?!?! I thought this must be some cruel joke, but it wasn't, and she then proceeded to tell me to try going to the county courthouse that was 25 minutes away! UGH! But I really needed it done, so off I went to the county courthouse, and I finally got the fingerprints done, but when I was done, the officer looked at my hands and then towards the bathroom where a tarp was hanging over the entrance and loud banging was coming from inside, and then looked back at me and said, "Ummm, well you can't wash your hands in there, maybe I can find you a rag back in the jail." "Ummm, no thanks! I'll rinse them off in the wate fountain, thanks!" So he kindly brought me a paper towel from the office to dry my hands off, and off I went three hours after I started!
And if that story isn't ridiculous, I can't even relax at home because I learned today that someone lost their 8 foot long pet python four days ago only a few miles from where we live, and it may or may not be pregnant, and the officials have no idea where it could be. Really? My fear of snakes is making me have irrational thoughts of a giant snake hanging from a tree in the backyard or lurking in the bushes by the front door. I keep getting chills and trembling just thinking of it.
What a day! Tomorrow has to be better...I hope!!
P.S. To all those wonderful city officials I met today, please remember that I pay your salary, so try and be a little kinder when I ask you to do your job. I know a lot of the people you meet each day aren't so pleasant to deal with, but that doesn't mean you have to be so unpleasant yourself to everyone you come across, and yes, angry man in the Magistrate's Office you did almost succeed in making me cry, so thanks for brightening my day even more! Also, if anyone needs information on where to find anything at the city jail or courthouse, just ask me, I now know where everything is after my wonderful tour today, but make sure you're there before 1 if you need fingerprints!!
Saturday, September 1, 2012
Ryder's 1st Birthday
We celebrated Ryder's first birthday last week. It's hard to believe that it's already been a year since our sweet little boy made his entrance into the world. I still remember the moment when I finally laid eyes on him as they placed him on my chest. It's hard to put into words what I felt, but my heart melted, and I was so full of joy knowing that this was our son that I had prayed for and longed for. The love I felt for Ryder was so immediate, and every day since I've fallen more in love with our silly little boy who likes to throw the ball, push his cars around the floor, and climb on anything in sight with his toothy little grin and happy laugh.
We're so blessed to have this sweet boy, and we had so much fun celebrating his special day!
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| Ryder opened his first present right after breakfast, since he had a long time to wait until his party! |
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| We love trucks! |
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| Our 1 year old! |
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| Caitlyn was in a volleyball tournament and came between games! They came in first place in the tournament! |
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| Showing off his walking skills! |
Such a special day!!
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