1 Samuel 1:27

"I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of Him." 1 Samuel 1:27

I read this verse on one of the cards I received at my baby shower this weekend, and it put into words the very thing I've felt since December 29th when I found out I was pregnant. Having a baby is the thing I've been hoping, praying, and planning for for almost 3 years. We knew we needed to wait because of our job situation and our plans for me to stay home, but it didn't lessen that desire in my heart. There were so many times when I would read the story of Hannah in the Bible and cry because I knew how she felt, begging the Lord to be able to have a baby. I'm so thankful that when we decided to start trying, God blessed us with the ability to get pregnant easily. I had been terrified and irrationally so, that I wouldn't be able to have a baby and would worry and fret and pray and beg God to please allow us to have a baby easily. I can't imagine what women go through who do have trouble getting pregnant, but God really worked in my heart while I was waiting for the right time, and I learned that He was bigger than all my doubts and fears. The other verse I clung to was Jer. 29:11 which says that God has good plans for us. I finally had to accept that His good plans aren't always our plans and that He is still good and still God even if He chose not to give us a baby. My heart was so broken the day that I confessed that to God and laid at the altar with Him, once and for all giving the situation to Him.

Amazingly, God answered my deepest longing within a few months of trying. I was so surprised the day I took the test and it came back positive! I was sure that I would see another negative reading and be able to tell Tyler that he was wrong and that I wasn't pregnant. But instead, I was wrong! The plus sign was faint, but it was a positive.

I remember squealing with joy, then sitting down and thinking, "This is really happening!!" and then crying, not because I was scared or sad, but because I was overjoyed and overwhelmed by God's goodness and His timing. While pregnancy has had its share of downsides like throwing up every other morning for 4 months or not being able to sleep the last few weeks from being uncomfortable, there is nothing that has made me regret being pregnant. Tyler and I are so excited about what the future holds for our family, and we are so thankful that the Lord has been so good to us along the way.

Most importantly to know is that this baby boy was prayed for and longed for, and we know without a doubt that he is a gift from the Lord, and truly the greatest blessing we have received! I just hope that we will be worthy of the gift God gave us and that we will love and nurture this little guy and raise him to love the Lord who gave him to us! Just as Hannah handed her cherished son back to God when he was old enough, I hope we will also recognize that our son belongs to God alone.